Caren Ware's Blog

December 22, 2011

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Filed under: Uncategorized — Caren Ware @ 2:29 pm

 Some things are just too raw, too private, too tumultuous to share on the spot.I can only cast shadows of who I hope you get to know when I can formulate them into words. … some day.

I walked out of the County Courthouse building into swirling wind. It threatened to take my breath away.  But who was breathing? The divorce judgement was officially signed, sealed, and delivered.  Singlefied.  I feel…well, I just feel.

There is no way to share the private, raw, swirling set of emotions.  They whirl in all directions.  They mimic the wind. They feel like the source for the wind.

I numbly walk to nowhere.  Just like that.  A signature on a piece of paper and it is over.  This must be what war treaties feel like.  The battle is over. I will be shell-shocked for a long time.   I am wandering back to my life that will never be the same.

This will be a Christmas celebrated without a home…and a home front.  We will pour ourselves into our college son’s dinky apartment and hunker toward a New Year.

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