Caren Ware's Blog

August 21, 2010

Being back…

Filed under: A Runner's Story,Marathon Running,track and field,Women Running — Caren Ware @ 4:49 pm

Can I admit it is tough being back.  The life pile I left is still here. What was I expecting?  Seems larger.  Pounce. It is not celebrating I went to the Australian Outback.  It has a personality and it says, “I could care less.  Deal with me.” Take that.  Double whammy for daring to be gone; being gutsy enough to go.  I dove through the piled up mail. There’s an IRS notice that says my $2500 stipend pay for head coaching a high school track team (which factored out to about .50 per hour.  It was definitely not about the money ,but about using track to impact teenage lives) back in 2008 was being levied a pleasure fee of 25 percent.  There is a county notice that property tax will be accessed a $309 fee to help the county’s budget.  There’s a threat that if not paid in 10 days, a warrant will be out for my failure to appear in court for a red light photo ticket I know nothing about.  I have only partially paid for the lawyer’s scraped sports car and the fender bender I did in the new Toyota Tundra truck has thrown the alignment off and the vehicle is shimmying at over 50 mph.  The tires are shot.  My son’s truck’s tires are really shot and the shocks are gone. The truck repairs came to a whopping $1900. A main computer shut down.  And we were down one vehicle as one of my staff totaled a company car while I was gone.  Etc.  Etc.  Etc…

Funny how I can plow into handling business problems, but relational?! In Eat, Love, Pray the writer brought up that one of her social worker, psychiatry friends took on dealing with refugees that came from Cambodia.  They had gone through severe torture, witnessed death, and suffered beyond human compression.  The counselor was apprehensive as to how to counsel them on this.  She was taken back when the conversations, hurts, and concerns of her new refugees were centered on broken relationships…this guy ran off with this girl, why didn’t this young lover still like her. Those kinds of concerns. The need for special people in their lives was deeper than any physical torture they had been put through.  It boiled down to this primal concern of how we relate and are related to.

So all the piled up business stuff was huge and knot producing, but my heart lingered on the relational.

As far as work and life in California.  I liked intensity and diversity.  And yet, I wanted to collapse on a sunny island somewhere and stop racing all together.  End of pondering.

A few of my key staff and I had to jump on a plane and get to Oklahoma City to time an Iron kid’s race .

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