Caren Ware's Blog

August 14, 2010

Unwritten…Reading the book was like reading my own mail…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Caren Ware @ 8:41 pm

 

As I raced through Lax leaving on this trek to the Outback and basically the unknown, (unknown of how I will do physically.  Unknown as to what it would be like traveling with my kids.  Unknown as to how my business would function without me.  Unknown to how I to handle getting divorced, being divorced, or why I am even doing it.  Un-knowning  what the unknowns are.  I grabbed  Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert in an airport bookstore. I had no idea what the pages would be about, but the cover let me know I was going to like her and her writing…and I was going to relate. I had plenty of self help books with me, but again.  I just didn’t feel like reading any of them.  I read the first few chapters of this book on the flight down and snatches while traveling.  I am now reading the rest on this long, long  flight home.  I feel like I am reading my own mail, my own cataclysmic need to put my own life in my own words, my own need to define who I am and who my God is. After the driving pace and pressure of “making it” make it, I feel too emptied.  It so harshly fell apart for me and I feel the same path of renewal she realized as I travel, open myself up to opportunity, and just let it happen instead of making it happen.  The simple need to simply be, experience grace, and learn to communicate better with myself, others, and that God that is more than out there and dwelling in us.  To a lot of us, life has had huge hurt filled moments, confusing as to how to get through them or ever over them. I immensely appreciate her honesty, gifted aptitude to put in word life on its daily level, and the timing of reading  something so much attune to where I am at. 

I cannot ignore the voice within me that is telling me to write the unwritten pages of my life.

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