Caren Ware's Blog

June 20, 2010

Happy Father’s Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Caren Ware @ 7:53 am

So I had to ask this group if they were really INTO helping save the forest at the Amazon Run for the Trees. Look how they came dressed! They unisoned back,  “No.  We are just really INTO our DAD.  He’s into saving the forest. ” Kind of cool.  Happy Father’s Day.  These gals were all his daughters.  Thanks daughters for taking today to outwardly parade your support for the DAD in your lives.  Too special.  Too cute.

Too much fun. Daughters with their dad

After the race was packed up, it was time for me to put in some serious mileage.  I needed to do a consistent 15 to 16 miles.  But where?  There were almost too many choices…and I was internally in a ‘clobbered by last week’s agenda,  the schedule, the emotions, and the car crashes…” mood. I was at Dockweiler Beach.  I could run the bike paths along the crashing surf through Manhattan Beach and do a turn around in Hermosa. It was a beautiful day at the beach.  But I had done that last week from Hermosa Beach to here and I felt nay inside about doing it again.  And today I was alone.  I could go the other direction and end up in Venice.  Did that on my longest run to train for LA.  No desire. Ugh. 

What if I started in Manhattan Beach?  I actually steered my timing van in that direction and then light bulbed about Santa Monica to Pacific Palisades through Will Rogers park.  U-turn.  Our featured runner in our newsletter raved about this  course she came up with in Santa Monica.  But as I headed in that direction I realized I would have no idea of the exact mileage or a clue as to the route.  Nay.  I just wasn’t up for wandering aimlessly around for miles and chance getting lost and tacking on more mileage.  I headed over the 405 toward the valley.  At least this was on the route to the mountains as I wanted to avoid downtown Los Angeles.  The temps were pumped up in the valley, but I took a left anyway and headed to Reseda Blvd.  I was told that you could run the Santa Monica mountains for miles.  I got all the way to a sign and a trailhead and was again, overwhelmed by I wouldn’t know where I was or how far I had gone. And it was blistering hot.  I didn’t have enough water.  After wasting well over an hour trying to drive to a spot to start a run I caved and headed to Laurel Canyon.  At least I had some miles mapped out there and I felt comfortable with the crowd using the trails. Dang.  So indecisive when you don’t have enough information or experience to know where to go.  That’s the great gift of learning from other people and the greater gift of having the courage to try new things until you have a large pool of options. I am aiming for this.  So know that I am listening to all your input on potential routes.  I really do want to try some of your favorite runs so I have a larger repertoire of them.

I didn’t want to tackle the intense hill off the bat so I jogged down to a farmer’s market and bought nuts and jogged back with the bag.  That is actually more fatiguing than it seems.  I ditched the nuts and  Ipoded the hills and I couldn’t do them.  I walked a few portions of them wondering what is up with that.  I have been running hills for months and just lately not wanting to work that hard…somehow.  The crux came when the random songs hit CHANCES.  You can page back to my blog on CHANCES and know why that toppled my spirit.  I had been enthralled by that intricate person.  And now life was a new equation. I finally gave up.  I couldn’t run.  Not today.  I jogged back and my spirit began to break down.   About it all.  The things I could not control.  The pace I was trying to  keep. The new enlightened things I was learning. The beautiful home in the mountains that was no longer home. All the deads in life for me right now.  I was so ungrounded.  I sobbed like no other when I got to the van.  Just because that was the real and honest thing to do.

I dropped by the photographers to go over the photo shots.  I sat back and watched the frames go by and I was stunned by the choice of lighting, hats, and angles, and how naturally and nicely I came across.  This was a big step beyond the “the photographer wanted to shoot me” blog.   I had learned something.  I may not have a ’10” personality that loudly  jumps out at you, but I have an essence of shy that actually captures well on film…and if there is a ’10” in me, its what running has done to my body. That was a better note to end the day on.

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