Caren Ware's Blog

May 7, 2010

Filed under: A Runner's Story,Marathon Running — Caren Ware @ 3:22 am


Expensive computer boxes, wires, easy ups, generators, little  cutters, start horns.  Hoards of timing pieces are strewn across the driveway.  I have a rake and am frantically piling up leaves to bag.  A freak storm is closing in and there is going to be snow at this 6,000 foot level.  Abandoned in the tasks, I also grapple with mountains of personal life issues I have too little time to resolve.  The deadlines of these race contracts  are intense(its not like you can call any race on the calendar and say,” sorry, not ready for your race…could you put your marathon off until next week?”)  My head is racing faster than my body.

The sun has already splashed its hues of red, yellow, and orange and the twinge has just turned grey. It is getting dark.  I bail on the pine needles and  frantically start tossing equipment in vehicles. The temperature  is dropping  dramatically. Clouds have moved in. I get all the equipment in, but all the tools and racks are disappearing in the darkness. The phone rings.  This is more important to me than any  ‘thing”.  I take the call.  Such an inviting voice.  It always captures me.  Something about it.  It has a mildness mixed with East Coast/ Long Islander.  I am huffing into the phone.  Silence on the other end.  Finally,  “What are you doing?”. I am at 6,000 feet.  I can’t catch my breath to answer.  In those short moments, the world turns black.

I drop on a stump and blurt, “I AM RACING AGAINST….”.  I look around.  I can’t see a thing.  It is pitch black.  In exasperation I finish, “…THE SETTED SUN.”    I slump. I’m not used to not being able to finish what I set out to accomplish. I have will and that will makes me try the impossible. But I can’t beat the setting sun.  I can’t turn back time.  I can’t stop it.  I can’t do the impossilbe and I am stunned.  I am….Failure overwhelms me.  It’s not a bad place.  I can’t be God.

I hear distancing in the voice. A few sentences of idle chatter and the conversation is over.  I hang up. I  am utterly and positively alone.  I can’t see.   I feel the darkness like no other time in my life.  It is so clearly dark. I know that this is not true, but I feel at this moment  there is no  God.  My family is struggling. After 25 years in the marriage trenches I couldn’t keep it up any more. Divorcing. Divorced. I had tried to make the impossible happen.  Friendships are hard to have on the road and  on the go. And something in me is trying to be bigger than I am: more capable than possible. I finally can’t do it.  Somehow,  I tried too hard.

It is so, so very dark. It is cold.  I can’t hold back the tears.   Pain engulfs me and saps even the light in my soul.  All there is is black.  And this is where I must begin to bring light back into my life. This is where I have to take a look at the RACE against the  SETTED SUN.  I actually thought I could out race it.  This is my story.



I’m Caren Ware, owner of Prime Time, a very successful timing company. As a runner I hold 17 Time National Track & Field Champion, an American Record Holder in the Masters Heptathlon, World Champion in400m Hurdles. What’s that have to do with meaning and  purpose? Pointlessly nothing.  SO  I am going to attempt to run a marathon on every Continent… remote marathons. Why? The point exactly!  For no other reason than to just do it.

How does the Australian Outback sound?  The Galapagos Islands. Kilimanjaro. The Everest Marathon?  Maybe the Three Countries in Europe Marathon? Zillions to choose from in the states.  Is Los Angeles remote?  It sure is a jungle! And don’t forget that Antarctica is a continent too!This  journey is so much more than a distance of miles… I have lost my route in life.  Its hurts.  I hurt.  Can running  help  find its way? Only one way to find out.  Just  do it. (sure you have heard that slogan before!)  Track with me. This is a journey that I will journal. I have run myself ragged fast tracking  through life. I am  very skilled at running in circles. Always racing.  So is it no surprise  that all my relationships  this past year collapsed? Balls crashing and bouncing loudly to the floor.  I, the master life juggler, looking at the balls on the ground in astonished unbelief. I dropped them! Life in the fast lane spins so many amazing stories, triumphs, mishaps, stupidities, brilliances, while superbly covering up a very different and difficult childhood…for a while, at least. What I really Championed at was being a Time and Activity Addict. My life and this journey will be a book full that I am writing called “RACING AFTER THE SETTED SUN”. I need the journey and maybe you do too. Come with me through my daily journal jots and feel the life, love, pangs, and growth .  I  have stories to tell. Life has stories to tell.   Because… I  know  you will never believe what happened to me today  while RACING AFTER THE SETTED SUN. Read for yourself on .
Check the May “Timing Is Everything” Newsletter for much more!

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